Friday, January 29, 2016

All day long.

I could stare at this beautiful girl all. day. long.


Sometimes you just sit and hug her while she crys.

Sometimes you just want to cry for her, but you can't because you the one telling her it will all work out.

Sometimes after you tuck her in and she falls asleep, you go back in and give her one last kiss on the forehead.

...and then go have a little cry for yourself.

Tonight was one of those nights.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Be still.

It was one of those mornings that had a few stumbles in it. A few firm words from mom. A few eye rolls from the 10 year old going on 16. We come to a truce and off to school she goes. Entering back in the house, I go over her self centered attitude that came to surface earlier. I carry a load of laundry into her room and on the way out, right by her door, is this.....
...and just like that, all was erased.  My morning, her morning, was perfect.

Dear Emma, 
You got it girl.  Hold onto it, never let it go.  You make a momma proud.

That the green dress.

In the middle of dinner, she lifts her knee just above the horizon of the table top.  She tells the rest of the family, "say Hi to my knee."  No one says anything.  She repeats herself.  I give her the look.  She says, "Hi Knee!"...hi knee...hinny.  And giggles.

Driving down the road and in the back seat are two girls bundled up in their winter coats.  They are getting a little toasty, so I appease them and roll their windows down a bit for a cool breeze.  It's winter, so it was a quick little refresher.  I push the button and the windows go up.  SCREAM.  I turn and look over my should to see her hand hanging from the top of the window.  Fingers on the other side.  Of course, I immediately put the window back down, pull over and take care of the frightened, crocodile tear flowing, red fingered girl.  All the while saying "this is why mommy and daddy say never to put your fingers or hands out the window.  Through a snotty nose, still crying face, she says, "well I didn't know you were putting it up."  Um, duh.  That's why you obey our rules!

Ooooohhhhhh that girl.  Humor plus curiosity.  It's going to be ride with this gal.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

No. No no no no no. No.

I knew the day would come.  Today was the day.  It wasn't suppose to happen this soon.

Four inches of snow on an icy driveway that slopes steeply down towards the road, makes for a nervous momma when the bus is pulling up.  So on these days, I walk Emma down the drive.  Usually giggling (which for the record does not help in the prevention of losing your balance).  Usually shuffling our feet.  Usually, always always arm in arm holding onto one another.

Until today.
No, this can not be.

We could see the bus round the corner and barrel down our road.  Emma asked "will you walk with me?"  Absolutely.  We started off and all was good.  Holding hands.
Then...then, something horrible happened.
Her hand began to fidget.  Was she falling?  I grasped it tighter.  Bigger fidgets.  I still try to grab her hand.  The bus is nearing.  And her hand does the unthinkable, it gave mine "the shake."

Then...then, in that moment, I realized she didn't want to hold my hand.

-time. stood. still.-

Wait.  What?!  This has never happened before.  Stop it.  Just stop it!  This is my baby.  Our hands belong together.  Forever. and. EVER.

In the millisecond it all went down, I wasn't sure if it really happened.  So without thinking, I did what my instincts pushed me to do.
As the door opened on #99, and Mr. Jim gave his morning wave, I wrapped my arms tightly around the little girl growing young girl beside me and planted a kiss on the top of her head as I told her I loved her.

Yep.  I did.

She is tall.  The top of her head comes near to my shoulder.  So it was a small, nonchalant move to give her that kiss on her head.  Maybe her friends didn't see it.  Maybe they did.

She boarded the bus.  I watched the backside of her fashion-foward puffy coat and trendy boots disappear out of site.  The bus rolled away.  And I think a part of my heart rolled away with it.

Why?  Why now?  What was it?  Was it the pajama pants tucked inside my tall brown boots?  Was it the bed-head hair I had going on?  Maybe there was something "poky" on my gloves and it was sticking her.  Ya, right.
I think it was...because she's growing up.

No.  This day was not suppose to happen.  But it did.  Not an easy moment.  But it is a moment of a beautiful daughter who didn't move away too quickly and let that kiss land on her beautiful head.

Thank you Emma.  Thank you for all the hand holding moments we have had.  I have loved every single one of them.  I know you are growing up.  Life is presenting things that are taking on a more important role.  But never doubt for a second, my hand will always be there ready to hold when you need it.
Love the moon and back and back again, 

Thursday, January 7, 2016

10 and 5

 The decade gal and half-decade gal.  The apple of my eye, they are.


It's slimy silly puddy in a container the size of a small soup can.  When you press your fingers down in farts.  Yes, farts.  Even though "fart" is not a word we use around this house, "toot" just doesn't do it.  The sound that comes from that is clearly a farting sound.

And we laugh.

Two containers of Flarp, two seems to be the hit amongst all their Christmas gifts.  Who knew?

I'm sitting downstairs and hear from the upstairs...silence...then 'tttthhhhhbbbbbbb' (farting noise)...then loads of girly giggles.  Repeat about 20 times.

Do not make this farting night end.  It is totally cracking me up.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Tuesdays - 8:30pm

Since last fall, Emma has had dance on Tuesday evenings.  Along with our neighbor.  Perfect equation for carpooling.  Neighbor's mom graciously takes the girls at 5:30 and then we bring home at 8:30. 
Adam usually takes the job of taxi driver for the evening, however tonight he is off in Phoenix for work and I had the luxury of driving two "tween" girls and little sister home. 

It's a 15 minute drive.

It was a solid 15 minute drive with giggles, whispers, busting out louder giggles, and a lot of middle school conversations that were way more important than solving world know like who sits by who on the bus, and the girl that paints her finger green in art class.  [insert loud "eewwww" followed by giggles]

15 minutes.

15 minutes of so much girl air coming from the back seat, I think it made my ears melt.  Go ahead and giggle...because like that made like SOO much sense.....duh.

As I pulled into our neighbor, the thought of Adam doing this every Tuesday made me...well...giggle.

Monday, January 4, 2016

When time stands still... looks like this.  And my eyes are overwhelmed at the beauty God has granted me in life.

Happy New Year!

Or Happy Birthday.

Last fall this wonderful lady we call Mamaw celebrated her birthday.  She is a gem.  And she adores her great-grandchildren.

I grew up knowing one of my great-grandparents.  I remember her house, the dime store down the street, and even the magnets on her fridge.  There is no way to describe the unconditional love that swells between the generations.  Unfortunately, I was only able to experience those moments with Great Grandma Harvey for a short time in my young childhood. 

My Grandparents all went to Heaven while I was in college.  A tremendous blessing to have them in my life up till that age.  However, I wish so badly they were still here to chat on the porch swing, play a match game, and gloat over their great-grandkids.  But God had a plan.  And that plan involved Mamaw.

I can't imagine a better person to fill the void of my grandma.  It is amazing to see how God's tapestry unfolds...when I no longer had my grandparents her on earth, He led me to a man to marry that had a "Mamaw."  While she doesn't take the place in my heart for my grandparents, she does fill me with joy when she laughs, hugs and kisses all of her family...including me.

She most certainly is a gem.