Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Emotional mess.

When you stack cards up on each other, they eventually fall.  Cards going everywhere.  A mess.
That's me today.  My deck of emotional cards has fallen over.

There are happy cards, funny cards, sad cards, and very heavy cards.

For example, a celebratory card just a few months ago when our sweet sponsor child Nayerli sent us the most beautiful letter yet.  "Demos Gloria a Dios! tome' la decision de recibir a Jesus como mi Salvador!"  "Join us in praising the Lord! I have mad e a decision to confess Jesus as Savior!"  We continue to read her translated writings, "I made the the decision to accept God in my heart, He shows me that He loves me a lot, and will provide in all my needs, and that's why I am very thankful with Him. Love Nayerli."

Jubilation!  This is why we do what we do.  Encouraging children of God and through Him making the Kingdom grow.  My heart is over flowing with excitement for Nayerli!  Emma and Hope continue to pray for her each day and are seeing the power of prayer.  What a wonderful praise!

Yesterday, I received another letter from our sweet sponsor girl.  She writes of thanks for our letters and pictures.  She continues her letter by answering the questions we ask about in our last letter to her.  School is going well, and her parents send their greetings.  She writes about our prayer request and writes of hers.  Then her last lines read this, "Thank you for caring about me, sponsor.  Now I know that I have a family far away, and it is you.  I love you very much.  I dream about arriving to your home and hugging you a lot.  You are my second mom.  I love you so much. Nayerli."

Second mom?  Oy.  Tears.  Not the sad card kinda tears.  The tears of an exploding heart.  An honored heart.  So thankful God has allowed our paths to cross.  I do think of her as a daughter.  But for her to love me back that much?  The cards are stacking up.

And of course my own two kiddos stack thier fair share of cards on my emotional deck.  Hope will one minute make me pull the frustrated card out, then flip it over within seconds to the silly card.  And she definitely stacks her fair share of "cuddle cards".  Then my sweet Emma swoops in...stacking the love cards on pretty high.  From our recent incedent at school with a pencil stealing bully to making lovly creations like this...
Heart. Melting.
The cards keep stacking...joyfullness card, wisdom card, the laughter card.  And the love card.
Speaking of the love card...it comes from one of the most loyal beings in the house.  Hank.

Hank has been pileing some cards on my emotional stack lately.  Getting older, his legs are giving out, an eye is not seeing well, and a cyst on his back that I tend to daily, are all adding up.  And recently his eating habits have been declining.  This morning he isn't eating at all.  I had to call the vet.

That was the top card.  My tower of cards, from happy cards to sad cards, has reached it's limit.
Like a big gust of wind has blown them down, it has been knocked over and I sit in it's emotional mess.

My buddy. xoxo

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