Monday, April 7, 2014

I can't make this stuff up. Seriously.

Guess who was full of it today?  She's 3 1/2, blond, and carries the funniest pitched voice.

Getting ready to go to the grocery, I was putting her shoes on her...her Nikes to be exact.  She says, "Seriously Mom?  Dees are my runnin shoes.  You want me to wear dem to the grocery?  Seriously?  Awww...ok."

The 10 minute drive was loaded with jabber from the back seat.  We pull out behind a semi that carries stock animals.  She says, "Dat truck is goin smell Mom, back off.  Dere is stinky pigs in it.  Seriously."
The conversation jumped around and continued;
Hope - Mom, what do pigs eat.
Me - Corn
Hope - What do cows eat?
Me - Grass
Hope - Papaw's cows don't.
Me - Yes they do.  The grass around the pond and the grass in the field.
(Brief silence.)
Hope (grinning) - Mom, where do Papaw's cows poop?
Me - (sigh), in the grass...by the pond and in the field.
Hope (cracking up) - EWWWW dey eat der poop!!!!! hahahaha

It continued as she asked how pigs poop, how cows poop, then all the sudden exclaimed she saw Tomtee's car.  (Imaginary friend).  "It is grey and white and small."  Does he drive? "No, he's to tiny.  His Dad drives him."  Then Hope asked me to guess where Tomtee lives.  After I guess Zionsville, Bedford, and Montpelier, I gave up.
She tells me the answer, "Indianapolis, Australia.  Seriously." 

And don't think it stopped in the grocery.  Hope has a habit of telling people Hi, and striking up conversations.  So nothing out of the ordinary when another mom passing by with her cart, exchanges "Hi's," prompted by Hope.  The lady passes us, but only a couple feet and out of Hope comes, "wow, she was cReEEeePyyyy." 

Then in the frozen section we are strolling along and Hope notices an older lady....quite large in stature.  Full fledged orthopedic Sass shoes, commonly worn of someone of her comic character (to say it gently.)  Hope announces, "WHOA, she has big feet!  Seriously."

Later this evening I was asking Emma about her day at school.  She was telling me about one of her friends that got to hold and play with a bunch of animals.  She had went to a pet rescue.  Hope says, "dats a tough business."

Having a sucker from the treasure box at the grocery, Hope sneezed from the back seat and exclaimed, "sheew!!! dat was close!!!  Dat sucker almost popped out of my mouth, seriously!"

And a bedtime prayer consisted of, "Dear Jesus, help me go back to Papaws, not play on mommy's computer, and help me pick up my toys for more stickers. Amen."

I guess you could say we got a warm up yesterday at lunch on her "seriousness."  She had a piece of spaghetti smashing it into her eye.  I tell her to quit and she informs me, "shhhh, I'm putting my contacts in."

I sit here tonight and shake my head....I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.  Seriously.

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