Monday, October 19, 2015

These two.

These two. 
That's it, that's all. 
Just these two.

Feliz Compleanos, Nayerli!

 Happy birthday to our sweet Nayerli!  Wishing you many more years full of wonderful days!
(and once again, we take birthdays very seriously around here.)    :)


Not many times do I ever appear in a picture...but the day this was taken, Emma asked "for a picture with mom."

And I'm so glad she did.

Love this photo to the moon and back...and back again.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

This moment. Right now.

Emma home from school, all smiles as she carried a stapled packet of papers in her hand, whisping in the wind, even though she wears a backpack full of folders.  "Look mom!  I have all kinds of exciting stuff!!  It's my narrative (that I've been working on forever)!!"

Typed out and everything.  She immediately starts reading parts of it too me.  I soak in her excitement like a sponge.  But it gets better.

She doesn't want me to know the ending, but in her own words, "I just got to tell someone!"

So in this very moment, the bedroom door to her room is shut.  She has her little sister in there, who is on cloud nine that big sister is playing with her.  I can hear Emma's muffled voice threw the door.  Each word is animated.  Hope giggles.  This is good.

This moment.  Right now.

Don't grow up my precious daughters...don't ever grow up.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Dad, daughters and birthdays.

He has two daughters.  He has a force that would knock over anyone in their tracks if they even looked at one of his girls wrong.  He's their protector.  He's their provider.  And I'd say these two yahoos are pretty lucky gals to have him.

And even though he'd go to the battle ground for them, under all that a softie.  Which usually comes out around birthday time. 

The morning Emma turned ten held a serenade Happy Birthday song with cheesy smiles.  The morning of Hope's birthday (this past summer) showcased an "Elsa Barbie cake" made by dad and Emma. 
So ya, he sings, bakes, and decorates too.
Dad, daughters, and birthdays....we got it all. 

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

No stopping her.

 And she's off!  This kid has had her first few weeks of Pre-K and loves it!  I must say it was a bit hard to take the "front door" picture.  ....and the "walk down the sidewalk" picture,  but momma made it!

 She walked into that school like she was going to see Santa himself.  There is no hand holding, wait on mom, walk together with this girl.  Grinning ear to ear, she owned it.

Mom didn't own anything.  No tears, until I started the car up and pulled away.  There was no little sibling in the back seat.  It was just me.  All alone.  I've had five full years of this spunky girl we prayed and prayed for to enter the world....and just like that, I handed her over.  -sigh-  ok enough, or I'll probably start crying again.

Three hours later and Mrs. Sieler handed her right back over to me.  Still grinning ear to ear, this girl couldn't wait to go back.

And what wonderful teachers we have to send us little peeks into their world...
Great job Hope Kaylynn.  I knew you would love it.  And I love that you love it.  Just don't let them teach you how to pronounce the letter "r"....I'm not ready for that yet.  Ok?  Ok.  xoxox

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Just ordinary stuff, but big stuff.

Passion...pretty sure I can honestly say, I have a passion for teaching.  Teaching Art in particular.  The days spent with those high school kids put me in my element.  Not to mention, a good deal of money and time went into the process to get to that point (Go Evansville Aces!)

The past two days I have spent in sweatpants, hair in ponytail, scrubbing bathrooms, sweeping floors, wiping down cabinets, folding laundry, and cleaning a garage.  I think is was the moment when I was wiping away Lord knows what from one of our toilets, I thought to myself, "what kind of job do I have now?"  I use to love to go to work everyday and anticipate the students, the projects, the joy of seeing learning bouncing across the room., I scrub toilets and do laundry.  What kind of joy is in that?  And I spent how much on a college education to do this?

Ordinary stuff.  Kinda boring.  Nothing great about it.
Until tonight.

It was my turn to be the "supper mom" at Emma's dance.  The dancers get a 30 minute supper break during their three hour rehearsal and each week a different mom supervises.  Tonight was my night.  After one totally burnt Mac 'n Cheese in the microwave, and a scavenger hunt for a knife and fork, the thirty minutes went decently well.
Just an ordinary job added to my call of duty of Stay-At-Home-Momma.  But  you know, to be able to talk with the girls, meet Emma's classmates, and laugh with them, was g-o-l-d-e-n.  There was something about Miss Emma's smile and attitude that totally gave off a feeling of "that's my mom, and she's pretty cool."
And that is big stuff.

I may not be living in my passion, but I'm sure living in a pretty important place that I wouldn't trade for the world.

Sunday, September 13, 2015


I just kissed Emma good night.  As she stood in front of me, I cupped her face in my hands.  Her height is even with my chest.  Her adult teeth are all growing in.  Her eyes sparkle.  Beautiful skin and still carried that button nose I adore. 
She thinks I'm weird as I hold her face and stare at it.  I don't care.  It's my job to be weird, right?  Right. 

Still starring, I tried to etch forever that nine year old face.  Tomorrow, when she wakes up, I will never get the chance to see that nine year face again.  Never, ever. 

Soaking in every last second.  Staring.
Time for the good night kiss.

And just like that I said good bye to my nine year old.  It's double digits tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

It's not all about the "firsts"....but more about the "lasts."

A seasoned mother (now grandmother), once gave me a bit of advice that she was given as a young mom.  And it was beautiful.

"We get so wrapped up in all the 'first' in our children's lives....the first time they roll over, crawl, get a tooth, the first giggle, the first steps, word, even sentence.  And do I even add the first day of school to the list.  As special as those moments are, cherish the 'last' more.  The last day before they walked and they just barely stood with that weeble-wobble stanz, the last day before they talked when they were just a quiet sweet soul of no noise, the last day they smiled that toothless will never look the same.  Those are the days we will never get back.  More teeth will come, more steps will happen, and more words will come out of that sweet voice.....but never, never, will we get back that last day before it happened."

She teared up as she told me this.  Her daughter is currently the same age as me, and she has two beautiful grandkids of her own.  Hearing her say this with such passion and raw honesty really set a new perspective in my role as a mom.

Today is a last.  Today is the last day Hope will be all mine.  100% all mine for every minute of the day.  It's been an amazing five years.  Having her home all five of those years allowed me to cherish all those lasts, and firsts....and in-betweens.
Tomorrow is a first for her.  I'm not thinking about.  I'm just focusing on today...the last.  The last day before she starts a new chapter in her life. May time stand still.  xoxo

Dear spunky Hope, 
Today is the last day we have together before you begin a new journey.  Of course there will be days where we will have together again....but it won't be the same.  Tomorrow I will share you with someone else.  Perhaps I'm a bit selfish, but that's what us moms do.  I loved today.  I loved spending lunch with you and your laughing.  I loved making beads with you.  I loved when you stood on a chair in the kitchen beside me and helped me make freezer packets with the sweet potato greens you helped grow in the garden.  I love hearing you pretend and play Barbies behind me as I type this.  I love you.  I love all five years of you.  From that tiny baby with long eyelashes to the spunky gal standing in the rain.  You are my HOPE.  I give all praise to our Father in Heaven for sharing you with us. Love to the moon and back...and back again, 

Thursday, September 3, 2015

What's all this posting about summer? Didn't the bus come already?

Oh yea, the bus.  As I catch up on all our summer happenings, I pause for a second to catch up on this happening.  School.  School started for this gal a few weeks ago.  Another brick taller on the porch.  And another first day of school picture with the little in her jammies.  Love these two yahoos.

Really?  4th grade?  When did that happen.  Don't make me go back and link all the previous first days.  I can't.  I just can't.  Denial....perhaps.

Sometimes I can't tell if the little is really sincere in missing her sister....or is she just a drama queen?  Maybe a bit of both. ;)
No Emma, you aren't as tall as your Dad even if you stand on your toes.
There comes our favorite #99.
But then again, it's that #99 that swoops my baby up and takes her off.  Bringing her back a little older each day.  Not so much my favorite anymore.
Here's to 4th grade.  xoxox